I LOVE this article ..this is a gal with her head firmly, realistically on her shoulders and not in the clouds.
This got me thinking about my own wedding(s).
During the (do-your-own-not-one-but-2 wedding celebrations-over-the-easter-weekend) planning phase my husband-to-be & me held OUR CEREMONIES and the WORDS WE CHOSE TO SAY as the number one most important part of the entire whirlwind.
We’d had a happy lead up to our wedding, and then suddenly, unexpectedly, tragically Terry’s mother died 3 weeks before the wedding. To say this rocked our worlds is an understatement of epic proportions. We cannot express how loved she was, by SO many people…because she was AWESOME!
As the shock started to wear off we questioned whether we should/could go ahead with the wedding. Every member of Terry’s family told us we just HAD to-she was so looking forward to it and would want us to…we both knew this was true and felt that it was ok to do it & ok to be happy & enjoy the celebrations.
There’s nothing like a death to really put your life into perspective….I wasn’t one of those gals who had obsessive compulsive control over every miniscule detail…I told my best friend to wear what ever she wanted as my ‘attendant’. One of my wedding dresses didn’t work out so we were dress and shoe shopping off the rack one week before the wedding. A friend kindly delivered roses that he’d grown in his garden and I tied them together for my bouquet about an hour before the ceremony. My do-it-yourself hair style flopped (it’s impossible to get a hairdresser on Good Friday) and I panicked ( & momentarily freaked out at my mum-sorry mum) for a moment before I remembered it wasn’t important in the big scheme of things.
What was important to us? The ceremony we had barefoot on the beach in the afternoon sun…the words we chose to say to each other….the advice we asked our 20 guests to give us as part of the ceremony-that was what was important to us. Were the photos important? Yes! We had a wonderfully creative photographer friend who we trusted and admired. Was the restaurant where we chose to eat our wedding feast? Yes! (it was & still is our special place) It is an indoor/outdoor restaurant and a possum fell on my grandmothers head during dinner-did it ruin our “perfect night”? No, it is still something we all laugh about 8 years later. Was the fact that we felt enveloped by so much love by the people who shared the day with us?Yes, vitally important!
We had another celebration 2 days later which included a marriage blessing ceremony (again-words all carefully chosen by us) in an incredible garden venue with dancing (music painstakingly chosen by us-it was REALLY important to us what we played), cake cutting (my sister made the cake) eating (my mum catered & my sisters friends helped serve food & drinks) and speeches. An Aunty picked delicate orange flowers from her garden for us, we had dear friends and family from across the country and the globe celebrating with us…this is what was important to us.
This wedding weekend was 5 years into our relationship, the honeymoon phase had well & truly worn off…..we were realistic about what our relationship was and we were looking forward to our future together. Was it THE most important day of our life? Certainly it was one of them. The days our children were born were more monumental & mind blowing….but you know what is most important for us?
Our lives are built by little moments, day by day by day. How we treat each other in the seemingly mundane moments, the words we choose to express love or to hurt each other, the way we choose to parent our children…it’s these moments…because they all add up to something big and all of a sudden it’s 7, 8, 20, 40 years later and it’s not the one off big moments that have the most impact-it’s the millions of tiny moments you’re having with those you love when no one else is watching……
big love Eriacta